I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize