I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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