sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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