I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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