I looked at my own cervix.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
