best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
