forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
