Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
