Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
