it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
