Non-Jews are for practice
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
