But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
