yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
