But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
