i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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