Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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