im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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