She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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