dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
