So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
