Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
