New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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