had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
