Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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