The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
