I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
