This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
