Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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