She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
