I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
