i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Four minutes until I can fart!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
