How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
do nipples grow back?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
