Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
