just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
