now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
