Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
