You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
