Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.

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(541): View more from Oregon

rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.

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(727): View more from Florida

There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.

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(607): View more from New York

honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.

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