I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
