i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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