Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
