I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
