My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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