Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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