When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
