distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
