If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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