Four minutes until I can fart!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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