Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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