we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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