Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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