Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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