thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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