ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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