Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
