somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
