Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
