Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Welp...herpes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
