it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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