My room smells like vodka and shame
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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